Conflicts between children appear in every preschool group. They are a natural part of social development, just like learning to share, taking turns, or expressing emotions. Although they may sometimes seem difficult, they are often an opportunity to learn important skills – communication, empathy, and problem-solving. How can we support children in handling conflicts so that they gain positive experiences from challenging moments?
Where Conflicts Come From – Emotions, Needs, and Differences
Most childhood disagreements begin with emotions that arise suddenly. Children are only just learning to recognize and express them, which is why they sometimes react too impulsively. The desire to have the same toy, the need to be noticed, or simple tiredness can lead to a disagreement in an instant.
It is important to understand that a conflict does not mean bad behavior. It is rather a sign that a child is dealing with an emotion they do not yet know how to name. With a calm response from adults, children learn how to navigate difficult situations.
The Teacher’s Role – Support Rather Than Ready-Made Solutions
In moments of conflict, adults often feel tempted to quickly “settle” the dispute. However, it is far more valuable to guide children toward finding solutions on their own. When a teacher asks questions such as “What can you say to your friend so they know how you feel?” or “How can we make sure both of you are happy?”, they give children a sense of empowerment.
A preschooler then learns not only how to solve the immediate conflict but also develops skills that will remain with them for the future – assertiveness, communication, and shared responsibility.
When Words Help – Learning to Express Feelings
Many children are not yet able to say directly that they feel sad, angry, or disappointed. That’s why daily practice of naming emotions is so important. Children willingly use simple phrases like “I don’t like that”, “I want to play with it later”, or “It makes me sad when you do that.”
Developing the ability to talk about feelings limits impulsive reactions. When a child can express what they need, it becomes much easier for them to talk instead of argue.
Listening to Others – The First Step Toward Empathy
Conflicts can be resolved quickly when children learn to listen to one another. It sounds simple, but in practice, it is a skill that requires practice. Short conversations led by the teacher – conducted calmly and giving each child the chance to speak – help children understand that every voice in the group matters.
They begin to see the other side of the situation. They realize that their friend didn’t take the toy “to be mean” but simply because they also wanted to play with it. Empathy begins to grow in such moments.
Finding Solutions Together – Learning Cooperation
The most valuable part of conflict resolution is when children propose solutions themselves. They might suggest taking turns, finding another similar toy, or giving up and choosing something else. These are not ready-made suggestions from an adult, but their own ideas that create a sense of fairness and satisfaction.
Collaborative problem-solving teaches flexibility and shows that even with differences, it is possible to reach an agreement.
Modeling Behavior – The Adult’s Example Matters
Children watch adults far more closely than we might think. The way a teacher speaks, responds to difficulties, or manages their own emotions becomes a model for them. If the adult speaks calmly, listens, and avoids judgment, children naturally imitate this way of communicating.
It is these everyday, small interactions that build a culture of dialogue in the group, where conflict is not a failure but an opportunity to learn.
A Safe Atmosphere – The Foundation of Healthy Relationships
Children who feel safe and accepted handle difficult emotions more easily. In preschool, the environment plays a crucial role – a place where everyone has the right to express how they feel and where no one is ridiculed. Such an atmosphere allows children to admit: “I am angry”, “I need help”, “I don’t know how to solve this”.
As a result, conflicts become less intense, and relationships – more stable.
Why Teach Children How to Manage Conflicts?
Although conflicts can be challenging, they are one of the most valuable educational tools. They teach conversation, cooperation, and empathy. They give children the strength to express their needs and respect others. They show that differences are natural and that understanding is possible even when we see the world differently.
A preschool that consciously works with conflicts raises children who are confident, sensitive, and prepared to build healthy relationships. It is one of the most meaningful lessons they can take with them from their early years of education.
