Praise is one of the most commonly used parenting tools, but its impact on a child’s development is often more complex than it seems. When used well, it builds self-esteem, curiosity and a willingness to take on challenges. When used poorly, it can make a child act only to gain adult approval. That is why the way we praise has such a strong influence on the development of intrinsic motivation.
What is intrinsic motivation in a child?
Intrinsic motivation is a natural desire to explore, learn and act, driven by curiosity and satisfaction with the process itself. A child with strong intrinsic motivation does not act in order to get a reward or avoid punishment, but because they want to try, discover something new and feel proud of their own effort.
Can praise weaken motivation?
Yes, if it is used in the wrong way. When a child hears only “You’re the best” or “You did it perfectly,” they may start to fear failure and avoid more difficult tasks. Then the motivation becomes not the desire to learn, but the need to maintain a positive evaluation from adults.
What kind of praise truly supports development?
The most valuable praise refers to effort, engagement and strategies, not to a child’s traits. When an adult says, “I can see how hard you tried” or “You tried a few different ways until it worked,” the child learns that their actions matter, not just the final result.
Why is it better to praise the process, not only the outcome?
Focusing on the process helps a child understand that learning and development are a path full of attempts, mistakes and improvements. The child begins to see difficulties as something natural, not as proof that “I can’t do it.” This builds emotional resilience and readiness to take on challenges.
What does supportive praise sound like?
Supportive praise is specific, calm and refers to what the child actually did. Instead of a general “great job,” it is better to say, “You put the whole puzzle together by yourself,” or “I noticed you didn’t give up even though it was hard.” Such feedback helps the child see their own abilities.
Does a child need praise every day?
Above all, a child needs attention and interest. Praise makes sense when it is sincere and connected to real effort. Too much automatic praise loses its value and stops being meaningful for the child.
How should you respond when something doesn’t work out for a child?
Just as important as praise is the way we respond to failure. Instead of focusing on the mistake, it is worth asking what was difficult and what could be tried differently. This teaches the child that setbacks are part of learning, not a reason to feel ashamed.
Why does the way we praise influence a child’s future attitude?
Children who are praised for effort and persistence are more likely to believe in their abilities and to take on new challenges. Later in life, they cope better with learning, criticism and change, because their self-worth does not depend only on external evaluations.
FAQ – questions and answers
- Is praising a child really that important?
Yes. Appropriate praise helps a child build a sense of effectiveness and self-confidence. - Isn’t it better to just say “great”?
Such words are nice, but without specifics the child does not know what exactly they did well. - Is praising talent a bad thing?
It is not harmful in itself, but praising effort and actions is more important. - How should you praise a child who gets discouraged easily?
It is worth highlighting every attempt and noticing even small progress. - Can praise replace rewards?
Yes. For intrinsic motivation, appreciation matters more than material rewards. - Won’t the child become too confident?
No, as long as praise is realistic and based on facts. - How should you respond when a child praises themselves?
It is good to acknowledge their effort and show interest in what they did. - Does the way we praise matter both at preschool and at home?
Yes. A consistent approach from adults sends a clear message that a child’s growth matters more than just the result.
