Sharing is one of the key social skills that helps children build relationships, develop empathy, and learn cooperation. However, for many parents and caregivers, it can be a challenge because young children often see their possessions as an extension of themselves. So, how can you teach a child to willingly share with others?
Understanding a child’s natural development
The first step is to understand that the need to "have things exclusively" is a natural stage of a child's development. Toddlers around the age of two are just beginning to grasp the concept of ownership. The phrase "it’s mine!" appears in their vocabulary as an expression of their need for security and autonomy. Around the age of 3–4, children start to better understand the needs of others, creating ideal conditions for learning to share.
Lead by example
Children learn primarily through observation. If they see parents willingly sharing their belongings, time, or attention, they are likely to imitate such behavior. Show your child how you share with other family members—such as food, toys, or tools—and say, “Look, I shared my cookie with Dad because I know he likes these flavors too.”
Teach through play
Play is an excellent way to introduce the concept of sharing. You can organize games and activities that require cooperation, such as solving puzzles, building towers with blocks, or painting a picture together. Through this, the child learns that sharing leads to achieving goals and brings joy
Praise positive behawior
Whenever your child shares something willingly, always acknowledge it and give praise. You can say, “You did a great job giving Karol your crayons. I’m sure it made him happy!” This helps the child understand that sharing is valuable and worth repeating.
Create opportunities for sharing
If you know your child will have the chance to play with other children, prepare them in advance. For example, you can ask, “What toys would you like to take to kindergarten to play with your friends?” Encourage them to bring items that are easy to share, such as blocks or board games.
Talk about emotions
Sometimes children don’t want to share because they are afraid of losing something valuable. Talk to them about their feelings by asking, “Why don’t you want to share your doll? Are you afraid it might get broken?” Show your child that their emotions are valid and understandable, but also explain that sharing doesn’t mean losing something; it’s about building relationships with others.
Introduce the concept of trading
If your child doesn’t want to give up their favorite toy, suggest a trade. For example, “Could you let Zosia play with your teddy bear for a while? In exchange, you can play with her cars.” This way, the child learns that sharing can be beneficial for both sides.
Avoid forcing
Forcing a child to share can backfire. If the child isn’t ready to give up their toy, try to understand their perspective. In such cases, it’s better to encourage sharing through example and play rather than through commands.
Teach empathy
An important part of sharing is understanding others’ feelings. Read books to your child that show characters helping each other and sharing their belongings. Talk about how the other person might feel when they don’t have access to a toy or a shared activity. You can ask, “How do you think Antek felt when you didn’t want to share your crayons?”
Give your child time
Learning to share is a process that takes time and patience. Every child develops at their own pace, so don’t expect them to start sharing everything they own right away. Remember, even small steps in this direction are important and deserve recognition.
Sharing is a skill that develops gradually and requires support from adults. The key to success is patience, understanding, and consistency. By setting a good example, creating favorable situations, and talking to your child about emotions, you can help them understand that sharing is not only necessary but also enjoyable and rewarding.
