Fear of the Child and Parents against separation and the new stage of life, which is adaptation to the nursery - Tequesta

Fear of the Child and Parents against separation and the new stage of life, which is adaptation to the nursery

Fear of the Child and Parents against separation and the new stage of life, which is adaptation to the nursery

Fear of the Child and Parents against separation and the new stage of life, which is adaptation to the nursery

"It may seem paradoxical, but the more a toddler is emotionally connected with his parents, the easier it is for him to gain independence and overcome the fear of new challenges"

Our Child, when he knows that he feels safe and is certain that he can count on his mother's or father's care in a given situation, shows much more self-confidence in actively discovering the world around him, gets rid of fear and is willing to act. Seemingly caressing and giving the baby a desire - it will not make him fearful and completely dependent on us, on the contrary, it will give him strength in discovering everything that is new and will help build trust in other unfamiliar events or people. For him, it is a great introduction to more complex social relations. Building a child's self-confidence begins in the first year of his life, when he discovers that he is part of the family, he has siblings and parents. The number of immediate family members is not important, what counts is the relations in the family, whether it is loved, whether the household responds to its needs, which at a given moment in the Child's life cannot be satisfied by them on their own.

When a child is about one year old, he or she may begin to exhibit anxiety behavior, which is the most normal stage in his development. Child - cries, screams, kicks when he sees the Parent walking away. This is a reaction to the fact that his safe relationship is under threat. When he expresses his negative emotions, he is guaranteed that the guardian will come back to comfort them, as it has been so far. The child tries to restore balance, in the sense of the word. Since he cannot speak yet, this is how he expresses his dissatisfaction and draws the attention of his immediate surroundings. It is also typical, then, for a child to be agitated and not allowed to be touched by another adult when his guardian disappears. However, when he returns, he explodes with great enthusiasm or clings to the trouser legs, which may make the Parent think that maybe something bad happened in his absence, although this usually does not happen. Sometimes he starts crying in order to persuade the Parent to hug them, stroke them, and then, happy, come back carefully to the play, keeping the Parent “in sight”. This is the time in social development when the Parent is treated as a "safe fortress". It is then that it can be noticed that the Child, while playing all the time, looks for the guardian and checks whether he is constantly within his sight and pays attention to them.

Separation anxiety occurs in most young children who have a strong relationship with their parents. This is good because it teaches the Child to gain trust in strangers based on the observation of their guardians. The researchers theorized that the way a child shows separation anxiety can be used as a measure of relationship strength, i.e. a tool to assess the child's future development. As the original relationship with the Parents, they are the prototype of the later social relationships.

The way the Child reacts in new situations and places (e.g. the first days in a nursery) may also be influenced by other personality factors, such as e.g. temperament, some children are naturally bolder and others are more cautious. The Parent's reaction and attitude are of great importance to the child's behavior in a new place, if the Child senses fear, tension, nervousness, indecision or lack of trust, it will display similar feelings towards the new situation. That is why it is so important, at the time of choosing a nursery or kindergarten, to provide the child with the so-called "Good fluids". It can be difficult, but even a tiny Child is a good psychologist and will read our bad emotions very quickly. If we also pay too much attention to his complaints or moods, it will only strengthen our negative reactions and adaptation to the nursery may often fail due to this attitude of the Parent.

The Child's earlier experiences in relations with other adults and children can have a very significant impact on how the Child adjusts to the nursery. For example, if a child was looked after by many people, and not only by mom or dad - it is very likely that such a child will find it easier to find a new environment and will not react as violently as in the case of a toddler who spent most of his time only with the mother .

Each Child is different, however, and this does not mean that a Child who has contact only with the Parents will adapt to new places less easily or feel the fear of separation more strongly, but taking into account the research conducted by many scientists, such children are more likely to do so.

In conclusion, love and a healthy emotional parent-child relationship is most important. The child will not get rid of the drug until it is separated, but will work through it in stages under the watchful eye of a loving person. Contact with other people also decreases from the very first moments of life

drug against separation and new situations in the Child. The parent's attitude to new places and people is also very important. Therefore, when choosing the right nursery, we must trust it, so that we pass this trust on to our little being and support her in such a new situation for her.

Prepared by Izolda Bombicz-Niemirska, MA

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